Alcohol, Drugs, and Porn

My husband was hopeless! Or so I thought.

Cindy Mercer is the Prayer and Women’s Ministries director for the Carolina Conference, works part-time as a registered nurse, and serves beside her husband, Rick, in ministry. Cindy and Rick have four sons, one grandson, and one granddaughter.

The most common problem my husband, Rick, and I witness both inside and outside the church is couples ravaged by marital woes. As a pastoral couple, we have a soft spot for such couples, because at one time our own marriage was destined for disaster. But praise God, we found purpose in our pain, and now we share with others our journey that led to joy.

HOW IT BEGAN

Our whirlwind romance began in 1997. Rick was a certified public accountant and poultry farmer, and I was a registered nurse working at the local hospital. Rick was knee-deep in tax season, but he agreed to take a “time-out” for a date with me. We fell in love on that first date and were married less than two months later.

We blended our families fairly seamlessly. Rick had two boys, ages 6 and 7, and I had a 2-year-old son. Everyone seemed happy, and I was sure I had found my Prince Charming.

SERIOUS FLAWS

As time went on, however, I began to realize that my Prince Charming had serious problems. Rick was an alcoholic and used illegal drugs. Lust also had a hold on his life.

At first, Rick didn’t show any signs of being a drug user. He went to work at the office each day, always dressing nicely. Later, he set up his office at home so he could be more involved with the farm. There were good times, but most of the first seven years of our marriage were miserable.

Finally, I decided the best thing to do would be to leave my husband. All my friends and family said he would never change, and I believed that as well. Leaving him appeared to be the only solution. But then something happened that changed everything.

GIVING GOD A CHANCE

Fervent prayer had been my comfort. I was a Christian, but my faith wasn’t strong. I had reached a breaking point and was planning to end our marriage. What held me back was the baby we had just had together and our other three wonderful boys!

One morning, as I was getting ready for work, I began to plead and pray as I had never done before. I asked to be released from this situation.

It was then that I heard God speak to my heart: Cindy, if you leave, you will not have a testimony.

At first I argued with God, but finally I made the commitment to pray and fast regularly until my husband came to know the Lord as his personal Savior. I didn’t know what the future held, but I felt certain that God was going to do something special in my life if I would be obedient and follow His instructions. God tells us, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3, KJV).

The journey was incredible. For many years I had asked God to change my husband. As I began to arise each morning at 4:00 to study and pray, I did, over time, see some interesting changes in my husband—but the biggest change was the one I was seeing in myself.

My nagging ceased—much to my husband’s relief. I reached the place where I could forgive him. I let go of the past and looked forward to the future. And as God began changing me, it got Rick’s attention.

MUCH- NEEDED INTERVENTION

Several months later a young man named Dave approached Rick and offered to have Bible studies with him. Dave was a nurse anesthetist and a coworker of mine at the hospital. I had noticed that he always offered prayer for his patients and kept a prayer journal in his scrub pocket. One day I asked him if he had any room left in his prayer journal to add me and my husband—to which he replied, “Absolutely!” When Dave showed up on our poultry farm 30 miles from his home, I knew it was no accident. He had been praying for my husband for almost a year when Rick agreed to the Bible studies. God was up to something big!

Our marriage took a turn for the better, a turn toward God. There were no overnight success stories, only “one prayer at a time” stories. As Rick filled his life with more and more of Jesus, all the other things were pushed out and lost their hold on his life. I love the quote that my husband shares frequently: “You can’t stomp sin out of your life, but you can crowd it out with Jesus!”

We both participated in weekly Bible studies for a year and attended a Bible prophecy seminar at our local church. Dave and his family, along with other church members, even paid for our family to attend a Pathfinder camporee. The whole church walked beside us as we learned new truths and a better way to live.

A LIFE-CHANGING DECISION

Rick fully surrendered his life to the Lord, and we began serving wherever we were needed. We decided to give the rest of our lives to God and were baptized into the Seventh-day Adventist Church on November 6, 2004. Whatever God asked of us, we did. Every time God impressed us to take another step toward Him, we were obedient. We had learned that His way was the only way.

Tragically, only two weeks after our baptism, Dave and his wife, Lisa, were killed in a traffic accident. We were devastated, but we didn’t let it destroy our faith. We had confidence that we would be reunited with our friends at Jesus’ soon return.

Rick began doing the Bible studies with others that Dave had been unable to complete. Then church leaders started plugging my husband into local ministry. We both became actively involved.

We grew spiritually as we continued to study together. It wasn’t long before my husband was ordained as an elder.

We soon sensed that God was leading us into ministry—but that seemed impossible! We lived in rural Arkansas and raised close to a million chickens a year. Our farm would not be easy to sell. Then Rick’s mom told him, “If God wants you in ministry, He will send someone to buy your farm.” That very night we received a call from a buyer!

The Arkansas-Louisiana Conference then called Rick to be a bi-vocational pastor for two churches. We couldn’t believe how quickly life was changing for us! We faithfully served the Magnolia and El Dorado, Arkansas, district until July 2008, when the call came for Rick to enter full-time ministry in the Oklahoma Conference. While there, I had the privilege of serving as the conference Prayer and Ministerial Spouses director. In 2014, we accepted a new assignment with the Carolina Conference, where my husband now serves as pastor of the Morganton, North Carolina, church, and I am the conference Prayer and Women’s Ministries director. I am still in awe of how “great is His faithfulness”!

A promise I claim daily is Ephesians 3:20: “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (KJV). God’s promises are sure. It all happened for us because of prayer!

This past May we celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary. I marvel at the way the Lord has worked with us. We have never looked back or doubted God’s leading.

I am frequently asked, “Is it too late for my marriage to be saved?” My response is, “Not if you are able to pray!” Most of us are only one prayer away from a miracle. Go the distance with God, and watch Him do a miracle in your life. There really is no situation for which God cannot give complete victory. The only hindrance is our reluctance to rely on Him.

Sidebar: WAITING ON ANSWERED PRAYER

“I have been praying for a very long time—and still, no answer!”

How many of us have heard this phrase or even spoken these words ourselves? The truth is, I sometimes feel as if I coined the phrase!

That wonderful word wait can evoke concern and discomfort. It implies an indefinite period of time that seems to stretch for eons. But if you check out the word wait in a Bible concordance, you will find some beautiful, comforting scriptures that reveal a whole new meaning. For example, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1, NKJV).

Ten years ago that is exactly what I chose to do. I told the Lord my troubles and difficulties, and then I waited for Him to answer. That waiting period is different for all of us. For me, it was seven years! It was well worth the wait, however, because I witnessed my marriage— which was destined for disaster— transform into a testimony for Jesus!

I needed to get past the notion that prayer was just for a crisis (which I certainly had) or a last resort when everything else had failed. Prayer, for me, had to become an everyday part of life. Prayer didn’t “just happen”; I needed to show up and participate. And, oh yes—wait.

God answers all prayers. Even though we don’t see His answer immediately (or the answer we think it should be), we must never give up! We can have confidence that the earnest, sincere prayer is never ignored and never left unanswered—ever.

Cindy Mercer is the Prayer and Women’s Ministries director for the Carolina Conference, works part-time as a registered nurse, and serves beside her husband, Rick, in ministry. Cindy and Rick have four sons, one grandson, and one granddaughter.