Dear Abigail,
My husband and I have been married for just over a year. During this time he was at school far away. We saw each other during holidays, but now he is finished and starting full-time ministry. I have a steady job as a secretary in the church union office, but his new district is far away, and the local conference has no position to offer me. Since our wedding, the longest time we’ve spent together is two months. What should I do? Should I resign and go with him even though I will have no job? Or should I stay and wait for something to open up?
Very Stressed
Dear Stressed,
My advice is this: trust God and place your family first. Your husband needs to know you are his partner in the journey of ministry. There may be times when it is necessary to be apart for short periods in a marriage, but it is not a safe or healthy way to live in the long term.
When we marry, we pledge our life and time and energy to support each other. This means we are creating a new family circle, and we are committing before God to make our new family a top priority. The family’s unity, wholeness, and health must be heavily weighed in each decision, in addition to obvious factors such as finances and job security.
As ministry families, we are examples to those who observe from the outside. This doesn’t mean we are perfect, but it does mean we should strive to model the principles God has given us. If you and your husband live separately for the sake of a job, how can he counsel his church members in the areas of family and marriage? In order to grow strong as a married couple, it is absolutely vital to live together full time and learn how to function side by side as a unified team.
God will provide finances. There may be times when you are waiting and trusting in Him, but if you pray for Him to grow you together as a godly ministry family, He will provide your needs. He has promised to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Eph. 3:20, NKJV). And if you place your faith, your family, your marriage, and your ministry first, then He will be able to show you His power and love in ways that would never be possible if you put money first.
I urge you to go with your husband to his new district. Make a home there with him and share in his work of leading this new church family. Spend time learning to love the people there. Pray fervently for God to provide new work and cover your financial needs. He will not let you down.
Abigail
