A Different Look at Romance

We tend to think in terms of candlelight dinners, flowers, and boxes of chocolates. It could be that you are so fixated on the traditional ideas that you are overlooking the many, many ways that he tells you every day that he loves you.

Barbara Huff is the co-coordinator for Shepherdess for Euro-Asia Division. She enjoys photography, birding watching, shell collecting, and swimming. Barbara is looking forward to retiring in 2000 and starting a new chapter in her life which will include spending time with her grand­children. She is also looking forward to becoming active in a local church again after many years of being a church administrator's wife and having no church roots.

 

It wasn't Valentine's day, it wasn't even my birthday or Christmas. One day last spring, however, my husband Lee performed the most romantic act in my behalf that I could ever imagine. Even though this hap­pened in just one day, he had spent many days and involved many people to pull off this sur­prise.

For many years, it had become evident that I would eventually have to have knee replacement surgery. Even though that surgery was well thought out and we planned it for the most desirable date, it was still very difficult for me to leave my husband in Rus­sia where we work, and go to Loma Linda, California for the surgery. Through no fault of his own, Lee's schedule was scrambled, and he couldn't be with me for my surgery. However, by readjusting appointments, he was able to come to California about ten days after my surgery. In the meantime, wonderful friends were attentive to my needs and helped me make im­portant decisions.

The day Lee flew back to Mos­cow after his brief visit, I sobbed like a little girl with a broken heart. In our heads we knew that we had made the best decision about having the surgery done at that time. In our hearts, however, we couldn't bear the separation.

My doctor said to plan on staying in California for three months. Had I not lived so far away, I probably could have gone home a bit sooner. In spite of all my good intentions of getting well quicker, it didn't happen. I could not will my leg to heal any quicker than the normal process de­manded.

E-mail was our lifeline. Two letters a day was our minimum. Often I would write several times during the day. Eventually my doctor let me begin planning my discharge date. I was going to spend the last week or so before returning to Russia at our daughter's home in northern Cali­fornia. Finally I was well enough to make plane reservations and plan that trip.

At that time our letters took on a different tone. After being away from home for so long, and accumulating many things, I was concerned about having enough room in my suitcases. Lee told me he had made arrangements with some fellow who would be able to help me by taking a suitcase full of my things from our daughter's home to Moscow. The plan sounded very workable. He didn't tell me the man's name, but said he would e-mail all the details to our daughter.

On our way from the airport to her house, I asked my daugh­ter if her dad had sent the information about this kind man who would transport my things. "Yes," she said. "I have all that at the house."

Katie, my nine-year-old granddaughter, was dancing at the door when we arrived. "Oma," she said, "can I show you our sur­prise?" Quite frankly, I was not in­terested in a surprise at the mo­ment. I wanted to hug the child and kiss her. But Katie was per­sistent. I decided the hugs and kisses could come later. Katie ran to her room and came out leading her grandpa. I was speechless. Could this really be happening? How on earth did he manage to come to California from Russia without my knowledge? It was he that was the mystery man who was going to take my extra suitcase back to Moscow! I was surprised at how skillfully Lee had com­pletely surprised me.

We were together one pre­cious week at our daughter's home. He flew back to Moscow and  in a short time I went back to Loma Linda. After a few last medical appointments I was on my way back to home and hus­band. I floated ten feet off the ground for days after the great surprise. His coming was in itself a wonderful love gift. What he had to go through to keep it a surprise from me, however, showed a measure of romance such as I had never imagined was possible. I thought to myself that these are the kinds of things we do when we love each other and that ro­mance comes in different forms.

Most women wish that their husbands would be more roman­tic. We tend to think in terms of candlelight dinners, flowers, and boxes of chocolates. Your husband's idea of romance is probably much more creative than these traditional ones. It could be that you are so fixated on the traditional ideas that you are overlooking the many, many ways that he tells you every day that he loves you. According to Webster's dictionary, one aspect of romance is chivalrous devotion. I rather imagine that your husband shows you that side of romance every day. Thank him for these acts. Praise him for his efforts and you will be pleased at how the romance will increase!

Barbara Huff is the co-coordinator for Shepherdess for Euro-Asia Division. She enjoys photography, birding watching, shell collecting, and swimming. Barbara is looking forward to retiring in 2000 and starting a new chapter in her life which will include spending time with her grand­children. She is also looking forward to becoming active in a local church again after many years of being a church administrator's wife and having no church roots.